No Longer Stuck – but Hopeful!

November 20, 2008 at 2:20 pm (change, Introspection, Leadership, Musings) (, , , , , , , , )

My last two posts were somewhat cathartic.  They probably could have been shortened and put into one good post – as opposed to verbose, rambling, themeless musings.  But, for my sake, I needed those posts.  It really came down to two issues, which are really one.

U2’s song, Stuck in a Moment.  I remember when I first heard that song a few years ago.  I realized that this is where people go when they get depressed.  Instead of living in this moment, they are stuck in thatmoment.  Whether grieving the loss of something good, or living in the Glory Days of the past, we get stuck and don’t live in the goodness that is the present.

Who Moved my Cheese?  We get so used to having things happen a certain way and when that changes, we don’t know what to do.  No matter how many times I’ve said, “The only constant in life is change.”  When it happens to me, I’m lost.  I’ve figured out that I thrive on change – as long as I initiate it! 🙂

Living in the moment requires an understanding that we can’t change the past or the future.  If we worry, or stress, over what is going to happen; or, if we regret what happened in the past; then we are unprepared to deal with, process, or rejoice in the present.  Besides, who knows what is coming next?

They say the great nations of the world are always fighting the last war, not the wars we currently find ourselves engaged in.  Isn’t that true of people too?  We fight with our spouses, because we have unresolved issues with our parents; We are always telling our current coworkers about our last place of employment; and when we have children, we try to correct in them the mistakes we made as kids – or the parenting mistakes our father and mother made.

But what if we were like a competative athelete – always ready for the next play.  They shake of the blown plays and don’t rejoice too long in the goals.  The game isn’t over till it’s over and they have to stay engaged in what’s happening right now!

That’s what happened to me, after getting transfered across country, I found out how drastically different things were here.  Instead of adapting and seizing the opportunities, I’ve been moping around singing the “poor me” song.  In case you have no experience with this, it doesn’t really work and people get sick of being around you after a very short time.

So, the other morning while trying to discover that spark that gets me out of bed in the morning, I shot up a quick prayer: “What’s wrong?” I asked.  Instantly the epiphany came to me: “Things aren’t going the way I want them to and I’m refusing to adapt to the situation.”  In other words, my cheese got moved.

The light came on brightly and I instantly saw the problem.  Things aren’t going to change.  The people involved aren’t going to change – and, in fact, expecting anybody or any situation to change is just setting oneself up for resentment.  The only person I have control over is myself.  If I want to see a change in my attitude, I’m going to have to learn to adapt.  I’m going to have to find some new cheese.

This discovery has renewed hope and restored my sense of vision.  I don’t know where I’m going with this and I don’t know what adaptations I’ll need to make, but at least I have hope that this isn’t all pointless and meaningless.  But in order to bring meaning and focus, I’m going to have to figure out where I’m going – without expecting others to change.

Now, it’s actually starting to sound like fun!


  1. Steve McDade said,

    My wife found your blog and I’m where you are. Just left a group that I’ve been waiting to change and they won’t.
    I live in the Parkrose area of Portland so we are neighbors in a way. I’m doing the same thing, wondering where I’m going. We can only show change of oursleves before others will even want to change.
    Thanks for the ecouraging blog post.

  2. Mt. Tabor Vistas said,

    Thanks for the comment Steve!

    Even without expecting others to change, which is a dangerous proposition all by itself, I have to accept where I am, at this point in my life. Learning to accept that has restored hope in my soul.

    I do agree with you however. Once others see positive, influential growth in our lives, they will be more encouraged to seek that out themselves.

  3. Half Life 2 Orange Box said,

    Hey, at least you HAVE a job. Lost of Oregonians don’t. So…

  4. Mt. Tabor Vistas said,

    Yes, true, but this isn’t really about employment – it’s about being true to oneself and adapting to the world in which we find ourselves. Where is the balance, iknow it’s there, ‘cuz I see it when I swing past.

  5. Mark said,

    Read this blog post and also saw that you wrote a blog post earlier about the plight of “Bob” in the stories on Chris Brogan’s site. I wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat. I would like to talk with you via e-mail if possible. We could share what we are both struggling with and support one another.

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