The Truth?

November 19, 2008 at 4:08 am (change, Introspection, Musings) (, , , , , , , , )

The truth is that my world changed, but my worldview didn’t.  They moved my cheese.  I didn’t see it coming.  I thought I was in control of my own destiny?  But if they keep moving my cheese, how can I be in control?

It seems like only yesterday that I was living large and laughing at danger.  I hadn’t a care in the world.  I danced through doorways without a concern of what could be found on the other side and crashed the dawn from the backside of reality.  I was 25 and free.

What happened?

Where did the last 25 years go?

I remember laughing at myself in the mirror.  I remember being invincible.  I remember I had no doubtsw about my skill or performance.  Damn, I knew I was good – and I made sure everyone around me understood that.

But now, in a rare show of humility, I’m realizing that life is terminal and few things will really matter 100 years from now.  Life, love, and my family – especially the legacy I leave my kids.  Not just stuff – but the emotional baggage I pass on to them.  There is nothing in this world more important to me than to give my kids the esteem and the health to be who they were created to be.

Two years ago, I was doing what I loved.  I was gifted at what I was doing.  We were successful and it was exciting, challenging, and quite rewarding.  But as the grant money was coming to its end, I knew things would be changing.  But still, who moved that cheese?

Last year, we loaded up the truck and moved the family, part and parcel, across the country.  We found a great house, in a great location, in a great part of the country.  As we unpacked, our expectations were high.  But something happened – they moved our cheese.

For several months now, I’ve been moping around, trying to figure out who I am, where I’m going, and how I got here.  I’ve been mourning the loss of that great life we had elsewhere.  I’ve been mourning the loss of the fun, the challenges, and the rewards of my last project.  How, in the world, did I end up here?  How did it all change so quickly?  How do I change all this to be a better fit for ME?

Then, this morning, it hit me.

I can complain about the cheese being moved, or I can go find a new supply.

It is time to move on.  It’s time to adapt.  It’s time to be creative.  It’s time to see the opportunities…

Any ideas?

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